Something nasty happened on Monday. Specifically, something nasty happened to Riley.
It’s going to be difficult to talk about the accident because it occurred during an event at a place I want to have a close relationship with over the coming years and I don’t think it particularly prudent – or necessary – to name names here. This is the opposite feeling to some others of my acquaintance, who’ve suggested I DEMAND RETRIBUTION.
But, no. That would hardly be a rosy start to the relationship, and as I’ve been at pains to stress, {THIS PLACE} could just as easily turn around and say to me, “Actually, it was your fault for not supervising your child properly.” And they may be right: those few seconds between my listening to a talk, and then turning around to talk to another parent, were all it took for my son to slip away, spy a silver water dispenser, think it was the same as every other water dispenser he’s seen, hold up a cup to it, pour the water, and put it to his mouth.
Except this silver urnie was full of boiling water.
When I heard the scream from the other room, I had this thought, ”That sounds like Riley, but I’ve never heard him scream like that before. That was a scream of pain.”
Then I saw my friend dash to the scene and I suddenly knew it was him. Then my world keeled over.
******
This is a lucky shot. Riley moves so quickly when the flash is off that I have dozens of blurry shots to every one that’s in focus.
Not so on Monday, when he was in this position here on the bed, or on the lounge, from the time we arrived home from getting treatment at the chemist. His skin began to peel immediately. He didn’t eat. The only positive was no water entered his mouth. As the days have passed, the scabs have formed, split and lifted, and generally looked disgusting.
Worried, I went to the doctors to get some advice yesterday. Do you know what he said?
“At least it wasn’t sunburn.”
“What?”
“It is a burn, which is nasty, yes, but – unlike sunburn – it didn’t have any of the ultraviolet rays which can damage the cells which later turn into skin cancer. And at least it wasn’t boiling oil.”
“Right.”
“And his lips won’t scar. What might scar is the surrounding skin.”
He printed out a prescription for an anti-bacterial ointment and left us with this thought:
“All things considered, it could’ve been worse.”
******
Was it my fault? You probably have an opinion. I’m not interested in assigning blame, really.
Because?
SHIT HAPPENS. ACCIDENTS HAPPEN.
Sure, earlier this week I might’ve thought differently, but as much as I wish it didn’t happen, I also know that it can’t be undone either. We just have to move on.
My husband has a scarred lip himself, thanks first to a boyhood biking accident and then later a fistfight. His thoughts?
“Well if it does scar, chicks dig them.”
Right.
******
Feel better soon, my little man. You’ve been such a trouper.
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
Good on ya A, isn’t it funny how dads can assess a situation so different to mums (lets not talk about the doctor’s assessment, some of them aren’t exactly compassionate and many have been doing the same job for waaaay too long!).
I hope R recovers quickly, emotionally as well as physically, and please don’t be too hard on yourself, we can all see how easily things like that can happen and it’s no-one’s fault. Would you believe my mum counted 24 visits to hospital with my brother up til about the age of 24? Mainly for croup, but there were broken bones and lots of stitches. And now I’ve got 2 boys, so luckily we only live 5 minutes from the hospital
And just to remind everyone, happy happy birthday for tomorrow!! (did you get my message?)
When my baby was about 2 she came into the kitchen and “helped” me by taking out the microwaved carrots while I had my back to her cutting up bits of I don’t know something.
She had a nasty burn on her chest.
We were given this really oily cream – full of Vit E and other goodies and I rubbed it in every night for weeks. (Vit E oil is great for all scars.)
She doesn’t have any scarring.
The only scarring is on my heart.
(We got rid of the microwave that was too big to fit in the little microwave cubby hole above the oven and so was on the bench. And bought a new smaller one.)
Oh dear Riley. And dear Karen. Sorry to hear about this accident. There’s that moment of dread when you hear a scream of pain from your child, that sinking feeling where you want the world to swallow you up because your kid is hurting. I felt that for a moment, reading this post. Glad to hear things are working out ok and that you are moving on. It’s a good thing there are plenty of other moments in motherhood- the times we discover things together, proud moments, hysterically silly nonsense moments, and first time moments to counterbalance the not so nice times
Your such a good mummy !!!
Kids are so fast, oh so fast. It only takes half a second and sometimes, I swear Amy hurts herself/gets into things even when I’m watching closely.
Poor baby, I hope he heals fast.
xx
Thank you all ladies so much for your sympathy/empathy! Truth be told, I’ve been asked why did I write this and set myself up for blame/scolding (no pun intended) – but like many things I write about here, I’d rather tell my truth and set it loose where many others will appreciate it, rather than bottle it all up.
Again, thanks xx
So sorry to hear this Karen and I would not blame yourself, boiling water should not have been left unattended in this way. There are some special creams/oils you can buy from the chemist that minimize scarring if used soon after injury. May be worth asking your chemist if there is one that you could use near the mouth.
It is so true, they move so fast and accidents happen so quickly. The upside, we all learn from these accidents and they help to make us more mindful for the future. I am sure the organisers of the event have learnt something from this incident as well.
A similar thing happened to my son on my watch a few months ago. I too, chose to blog about it. I totally understand why you’ve shared it. Kids are so stinking fast! If the injury had been elsewhere I’d have suggested fixamol but I hope he heals up soon. Hugs, to both of you.
Oh Karen, the guilt is a normal reaction from a good Mum. When David was a toddler he pulled a cup of coffee over himself. The coffee was mine and I had put it on top of the woodheater, which was behind a fixed fire screen. I thought the coffee was well out of his reach. I turned away for a second and bang he had poured it over his head. *sigh*
Poor little fella.
I remember one day going to the bathroom and hearing a clink and a small cry then finding my toddler outside with blood from head to foot. Put her in the bath to find where she was bleeding from and she had a tiny cut on her sucking thumb. The back door wasn’t quite latched at my mum’s and she’d found a glass bottle on the back verandah which she’d dropped. Kids can be so quick and you are absolutely right. Sometimes accidents just happen and there’s not a hell of a lot you can do about it.
Oh my God, Karen, I can’t believe I missed this post. I’m so sorry that happened to Riley, but you’re right; accidents happen, and they will happen to kids. In no way does this diminish your standing as a mother.
Hi Karen, what an awful freaky accident. It is usually me with my children who has that happen. The freaky accidents, the ones you would never have thought possible or could even consider because – well – how could you think of it. You are absolutely right -its an accident, no more, no less, and they happen to us all. If more people took responsibility of what has happened and can move on with your attitude the world would be such a happier place. I don’t blame anyone for those sorts of things – its just life and we choose how to handle it. I think you both acted admirably and are a great example. Hope the silly season is good to you with no more accidents. Cheers