So this was the post where in this place right here you would normally be seeing a massive pile of food magazines all fanned out nice and arty because this post was supposed to be about our food porn collection and not our actual porn collection because, boy, if you know how expensive that stuff is you know you’re buying it for keeps; but seeing as our camera is broken and I’m sick of using the dodgy webcam let’s all just use our imaginations and pretend there is a picture as described above, right here.
Nice.
So as I was saying. The food porn. It has to stop.
Worse, I think, what has to stop is the delusion that when I purchase said magazines I will diligently, and with love, cut out all the recipes that I think we will like
(but I’m sure only about 20% will get eaten thanks to Riley’s food fussiness)
and then paste these into a ring-bound exercise book, which is broken up into 6 individual cooking areas or ‘themes.’ Then, once tried, these recipes will be rated on taste and ease and any which fail to live up to expectations will be pasted over once the next wave of food magazines hit the stores.
It is ridiculous.
It’s gone past what was once a moderately interesting exercise because, people, here is the kicker: I loathe cooking. Or something pretty close to loathing. So once I bought them as perhaps a way to ease myself into the occupation. Because surely if they look that nice in the picture then I could also get the same result? Yes?
This air-brushed, food-art, industry shouldn’t surprise me. I mean models have makeup artists and stylists. Food also has specialists behind the scenes who know that a piece of cheese on a Big Mac ad mightn’t necessarily be cheese at all in the shot, but a piece of plastic because it hold it’s shape and colour better.
And so what makes me frustrated with myself is that I buy into that, just I daily struggle against absorbing all that other fakery in fashion magazines which are plastered across our supermarkets – right next to the food magazines.
Consume, consume, consume we do; first with our eyes, then with the help of our wallets, then with our mouths. I’m not implying there is an absolute link between our taking over as the world’s fattest nation and the fact we buy 11 million food magazines a year* but I wonder if some of us should – like me – wonder why the hell we’re picking up yet another magazine when our nanna’s and great-aunt’s old-faithfuls are tucked away in our cupboard and are still the first ones we crack open when we’re deciding what to cook this week. (At least, this is what I do.)
Because my head is swimming now with so many souffle recipes and flavour combinations I need to stop and remind myself that I have never made a souffle and I’m not planning on starting anytime soon.
To sum: I think I need to stop buying the magazines.
And I need to tell Adam to stop doing the same. *ahem*
*Link
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I’ve stopped buying magazines as well. Just don’t get the time to read them now…. I agree that food stylists are every bit as harmful for your self esteem as the other ones in fashion and womens magazines:-)
Joh’s last blog post..Warm Weather Parents
I’ve never really gotten into food magazines (though I will occasionally jot down/tear out a scrumptious-looking recipe). No, I’m an online food porn addict. I go to foodie Web sites and print out scores of recipes I always intend to try, which explains the towering stack of paper jammed into a binder sitting on the kitchen shelf, beside the handful of cook books that I don’t use, either.
Sigh.
I should perhaps clarify that I don’t remove recipes from magazines in the store. I’ll occasionally do that to magazines I find at friends’ homes, as long as they don’t mind.
Heh.
I found a poem in one of my mum’s cook books she bought back in the early 70’s from a local girl guides group which sums your situation up perfectly -
She cuts them out of magazines
and pastes them into books.
I don’t know why she bothers
Coz they’re never what she cooks!
Jayne’s last blog post..Trivial History August 21
I found a simple solution to the food porn blues – I turned vegan. Food porn useless and suddenly, strangely unattractive. Scary, but ultimately liberating
Although it made most of Mum’s recipes redundant too. Whoops.
You know, I saw Gordon Ramsay say that a chef shouldn’t cook out of his (Ramsay’s) books, because the recipes are for ‘people to lavish care and hours on for small dinner parties’. What the hell? I don’t want to spend hours cooking just for the heck of it. I want kick-arse recipes that taste fantastic and are easy to prepare – just like I’d assume a chef does. *mutter*
(sorry, deviated off onto my own rant)
Naomi’s last blog post..On Holidays
Jayne – that poem was written for me, lol.
Naomi – I could see why they would be unappealing to you! I don’t know if I could go vegan, though. It would be tough for me!
re: gordon ramsay. I can totally see that. His recipes tend to take lots of steps, those I’ve seen.
The kids love flicking through recipe mags and books more than I do. They will often find a picture they like the look of and then we will set about making a feast (read: mess). It is a great way to get the kids to eat new and interesting meals – if they make it they seem to be compelled to eat it.
On a side note, I LOVE YOUR BLOG! I have nominated you for an award, and if you would like to have a look I have written a post on it over at my blog.
del’s last blog post..The Good and the Bad
Ok, I actually DID cut out all the recipes and put them into a (purple) notebook that resides in my husband’s grandmother’s hoosier cabinet with all the other cookbooks. Categorized with dividers, labels, and everything.
And we still eat burritos, spaghetti, stir fry, and veggie burgers and fries.
Organizing it doesn’t inspire you to cook it. (I too loathe cooking. And in my case, loathe is NOT too strong a word.)
Magazines are never good..they give false hopes and recipes that no one can cook.
Jean-Luc Picard’s last blog post..Wesley & Karena’s Wedding (Part Two)
LOL, I actually love cooking. But you are right. I never cook from food mags….
The Scarlet Tree’s last blog post..A Writers MeMe
lol – you sound exactly like me – except that I love to cook, but rarely remember to go to the food porn and make any of that – I end up making it up, using something tried and true or asking google…
In fact, my latest post is food porn without the pictures.
jeanie’s last blog post..Notes on the child-free night experiment
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