I am afraid. No point being shy, now.
Of course, I have been all along. I’ve just tried to hide it. I blunder through, but the load I carry on my shoulders is starting to slip.
It’s all to do with the book, naturally. You see, on Sunday I spent a truly fascinating hour with a woman who knows her stuff when it comes to children’s literature. She’s been in the field for over twenty years. She reads well over 400 childrens’ books a year, from basic picture books right up to teenage/ young adult. She agreed to meet me at a cafe for a chat and I gave her the mocked-up manuscript for Surprise! to read as I went to get the coffees. When I got back I asked, “So what did you think?”
She replied, “Well, I’m going to be totally honest…”
And it went downhill from there.
Oh, she wasn’t damning. She pointed out areas of improvement that as the publisher I committed to memory and promised to make, but as the author I couldn’t help - perhaps quite naturally - to feel but a little chided.
So this means re-writes. Not many, just to take out another 50 words or so. Make it flow better. Have less words down on the page and let Kim’s pictures ’speak for themselves’ more. (Which, I must admit, I’ve already done in previous drafts but obviously it’s not enough.)
I will do these, but time is running out and I’ve spent the past 48 hours walking around in such a funk; feeling most of all like a fraud. I rang several people to moan about the situation and they all tut-tutted in the appropriate places and one friend summed it up nicely: “How funny, isn’t it? You’re due to get an award next weekend for your writing and then this weekend you get, well, kind of the opposite. It just shows how subjective this whole process is.”
And she’s right. All along I’ve said I’m not doing this for the money. I’m doing this so perhaps other children get the same enjoyment out of this story that mine have. But, altruism aside, it’s still nerve-wracking. The anticipation is beginning to get to me, and not in a “Boy, I hope The Dark Knight will be as good a movie as they make it out to be” kind of way but in a “I hope this project doesn’t turn into a Gigli or a Waterworld or an Ishtar.”
[Sorry for mixing my metaphors there.]
But, I believe. Faith will get me there. If only just.
6:13 am
Are you sure she’s right? It might have been better as it was.
Jean-Luc Picard’s last blog post..Riker’s Temporary Replacement (Part One)
8:25 am
*sigh* That is turning into the $10,000 question, my friend.
8:50 am
It is good to get feedback, the good as well as the improvable. At least she still met up with you, rather than decided not to face you as she beleived the book damned or anything, is it?
I am a poet. I get to see A LOT of self-published work that is truly wonderful. A I also get to see quite a bit of work (poetry and prose) that could have done with a critical eye giving the feedback and honesty that this woman gave.
It sounds to me as if it were not meant to be written, she would have tried to convey - instead she gave you the feedback that you asked her for.
Don’t take her words as gospel, don’t let every critic change your song - but realise that she is not hitting at you personally.
It is a really, really hard thing to do and why editors and publishers have to harden their shells.
Good luck - you will do well, I am sure. Adversity strengthens.
jeanie’s last blog post..That Sunday too far away
9:01 am
I think that you need to pick a point at which you say ‘that’s it’, decide you are happy with it and make no more changes or else you could go and get more opinions in another week or two and they could recommend more changes and it could keep going and going forever.
Everyone will have an opinion but in the end it’s yours that counts. Are you happy with it? Is it still the story that you wanted to tell and that your children enjoyed so much? Or has it become something else?
Bettina’s last blog post..Screw Up Tuesday
12:03 pm
I think nerves are healthy. They tell you that this matters to you. Of course it matters to you. It’s a huge “putting yourself out there” kind of project.
I guess one of the hardest things is that everyone has an opinion when it comes to literature and no one is ever 100% right. Still, it’s great that she gave you her honest opinion rather than simply filling your ears with what you wanted to hear.
Lightening’s last blog post..Are You A Fan Of The Royal Family?
1:15 pm
Hang in there Karen, I agree that in the end it’s your own opinion that matters but also if you value this person’s opinion then you have to at least try and address some of her points. Even if at the end of that you say nup, I liked it better the other way. At least you’ll know… and congrats on your award, that’s wonderful!
OvaGirl’s last blog post..I Have Never Not Ever Caused My Toddler To Become Addicted To TV And I Will Not Feel Guilty
6:36 pm
I hovered over my keyboard for quite a while before typing this, I was going to say something along the lines of I have a pile of rejection letters floating around somewhere and you can’t let it get to you.
But this is different isn’t it, well different but still kind of the same, it’s a rejection of sorts. No one really wants criticism, I mean you can say it’s positive to get feedback and all but no one really wants to hear that your art needs work. We’d all much more prefer to hear someone gush, so don’t feel bad about that!
The key though is your target audience, even if that’s you!! What do they think? If you’re satisfied then maybe you should stick to your guns?
The Dark Knight will probably be brilliant but there are still going to be ‘experts’ out there who don’t agree.
How else do people forge ahead in genres? By taking risks and staying true to themselves and not always following the established path!
I guess what I’m saying is trust your instincts and take onboard the advice that you agree with.
Lee’s last blog post..What I’m reading: Burning For Revenge
7:20 pm
What wonderful advice you’ve all given me. I take each to my heart, with thanks.
Jeanie - I know she didn’t mean it personally. And you’re right, I think if she thought this piece should never see the light of day, she might’ve said it like that.
B - good question - who’s story is it turning into? I’ll have that in my head as I go over the text.
L - yes, it was refreshing to get such an objective opinion.
Ovagirl - Thanks
Lee - Like B said, yes I have my target audience firmly in mind! [ps naturally what else I said in that email to you]