Tuesday morning, I was ready for a battle.
It began when Keira decided to throw a tantrum because Riley was wearing one of her (many) jackets. This was on the way to her regular dancing class. In a nice punch, as we were in the MacDonald’s carpark (mumma needed a coffee hit), I spied not one but three nits in her hair and as I stood there, rifling through her locks with her screaming, I had peripheral vision of people walking past us, with the looks plainly on their faces, “Oh gosh, she’s NOT, is she? She hasn’t got…you know…?”
And I felt like emerging from the car, with a nit between my fingers to shout, “That’s right folks and the next person to give me an ‘ew-gross’ face is going to cop one of these from me! Kungfu style!”
So we went to dance class; and before I get the “Hang on, you still went?” question, let me assay your worries by stating that my daughter point-blank refused to have anything to do with the class, to have anything to do with the other kids, so there was no threat of spreading the nuisance. Instead, we sat sadly on the sidelines, me all the time saying to myself, “Let’s get the HELL out of here,” but I wasn’t going to give in; because that was exactly what Keira wanted.
I am not a patient person, and although I say that parenthood has made me more patient, really, if I was to be honest, that’s a big fat lie. So for the rest of the day, as we returned home and I treated my daughter for nits again, I did my best to suppress that ball of anger I get, the nasty one that tells my daughter, “NO” all too quickly, all too unjustly in some sort of revenge for minor misdemeanours. Not for the nits; more for the behaviour which she is supposed to be growing out of, but instead is, possibly, getting worse.
Naturally, karma bites back at those who are mean, and my punishment later that day was to witness my daughter, so quickly, so without any warning, trip over a chair in the lounge room and go head-first into one of our windows, shattering the glass everywhere. The noise was dreadful enough, and as I saw her pitch over I expected her to fall out of the window and down onto the deck, the shards impaling her little body. Luckily, she didn’t. However she did clutch the back of her skull and wailed - understandably - for several minutes. At this point, my heart was racing and quickly detected there was no blood, no glass, no bump in her hair. A miracle.
The next half hour or so was spent finding glaziers, vacuuming up mess and generally trying to keep the children out of the area. Keira fell asleep on the couch, and I fully panicked, expecting her to be suffering from a concussion and it was ALL MY FAULT FOR NOT DETECTING IT.
Yet, she awoke without harm or sickness. I taped a tablecloth over the hole, which meant we had a biting draught for the rest of the evening. That was the least of my concerns.
I went to bed that night comparing my mood, my outlook, my mentality from the one at the beginning of the day, to the end’s.
It was nothing; all nothing compared to that moment of breakage. When any possibly number of horrible combinations could’ve come to pass. But it didn’t. So what if she had a tantrum? So what if the other mothers in the dancing class thought she was being sulky and reticent? So what if the nits had come back?
So what indeed?
The alternative was so much worse.
Some days I think I am an okay mother. This was not one of those days.
8:37 am
Big Hugs!! I feel for you but I didn’t read anything other than a normal loving mother having a bad day. One us mere mortals suffer frequently from. Wouldn’t it be good on those sorts of days to say Oh! bad day alert I think the nanny might be taking you today but then that does have it down sides too.
On the nits my cousin who has a little girl that seems to attract the things puts a little eucalyptus oil in her hair and braids it when shes going to school or dance anywhere that she thought was the source of her nightmare. Seemed to do the trick!
8:59 am
Karen, were you not at LEAST an okay mother, your first thought would not have been one of horror at Keira hitting the window. But sometimes even the best of us appreciate a little perspective jolt.
(Then again, who am I to talk, when I’m absolutely not one bit more patient?)
I got lice for the last time as a SENIOR in HIGH SCHOOL. Um, EW?! I was practically an adult, and I passed them around horribly to my younger sisters (then 15, 13 and 9, I believe). If I recall, Nix seemed to work well for us (if you have that over there).
Jordan (MamaBlogga)’s last blog post..Appreciating motherhood
9:58 am
Oh, I think we all have days like that. I have way more than I’d like to. I’d love to say too that I have become more patient since having kids but I still frequently have moments where I think “why do you have to act so much like a 1/4/5 year old??”.
I think you are a lot better than an “ok mother” - its just there’s a lot of pressure for us to be perfect mothers who never get angry with their kids and whose kids never get nits and never throw tantrums. The fact that you put so much thought into how you’re doing as a Mum is a pretty good indication of how good a job you’re actually doing.
10:48 am
Don’t be hard on yourself - we can’t be perfect parents every day - our kids aren’t perfectly behaved towards us every day, either.
You did a great job. You stood your ground with her, and were horrified when the window incident happened. You’re more than an “OK” mother!
Suze’s last blog post..I’m Not A Whinger, But…
11:44 am
We all have those days babe. Don’t stress too much.
So glad she’s okay. It’s one of my biggest fears with my kids too. Falling through glass. :/
Lightening’s last blog post..My First School Camp
12:33 pm
Wow, scary with the window. I remember those days well where you get to the point of saying, ‘Seriously! I’ve had enough! It all has to stop!’ but, you know, with kids it doesn’t stop. That kind of outburst raises the level even more. The art of parenthood is learning to cope with not coping, for mine. My words of wisdom for today: it passes. They grow up.
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3:00 pm
Gee, thanks guys xx
Hilary - yes, you’re so right. Some days I just flip out at how fast its going
3:47 pm
Basically kids suck. They find a way to make you pay for not being June Cleaver. Cause they suck.
Only reason we don’t eat them at birth like most animals is cause they taste like crap. Oh and they are all cute and stuff…
But they suck. And my kids will make me pay for this comment by being all cute or lovely or somesuch…
Kelley’s last blog post..I am a woman of my word, Iceel you bastard.
4:16 pm
Ah yes, that would have been my response too, punishment from the universe. It’s just a bad day. Not a bad mum. Hang in there. (And glad your daughter was unscathed…as opposed to you)
OvaGirl’s last blog post..Letter To The Son Of The Boy With The Outy Belly Button
6:32 pm
Hugs - glad Keira is okay I have had days like this and it does make you think you fall short of the mark of the perfect parent. You are a lot better than an “ok mother” .It is mummy guilt attacking.
I agree with Guera - there is a lot of pressure for us to be perfect mothers who never get angry with their kids or yell when they have tantrums.
I know you always put a lot of thought into why you do what you do- so it tells us you are really doing a great job.
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6:52 pm
A bad mother would have yelled at your daughter for breaking the window, told her she wasn’t bleeding so to stop her snivelling then taken away her pocket money.
You are so much more than an okay mother - even today.
hugs
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10:45 pm
Thanks again, sweet ladies. x
6:17 pm
Hugs, karen.
I know I am late but I just wanted to send great fat hugs across the internets.
tiff’s last blog post..Floating.