Wednesday, April 2nd 2008

Tears for fears

We believe in assisted parenting, and for us that comes in the shape of a portable DVD player which we take in the car when we take longer trips.

[I sometimes wonder if we are raising a generation of kids who are less and less aware of their bearings because instead of looking out the window at their surrounds and daydream, like we used to, their eyes are trained towards a tiny screen. But that's for another day. When I am prepared to admit liability, too.]

On Sunday we bundled the kids up and put Thomas The Tank Engine on because I needed a break from Charlie and Lola.

Now, my son – who, although I go on about his temper, is actually quite even-mannered most of the time. He nearly always shrugs off the occasional scrapes and bumps any child scores. In amongst his peers I’ve seen other children bow to their bad moods before he does.

I wish I could say his blithe acceptance, his adaptability, of such knocks was inherited from me, but I’m afraid my husband in this case is quite prepared to wrestle me to the ground and give me pink-bellies until I am forced to admit that, okay! whatever! he probably did inherit that from you.

So when Riley began to cry in the backseat at a red light, I must admit, my first reaction was pure alarm. I turned around; Keira was not interfering with him. He’d not sustained any hurt. So what was causing those fat tears; their heat blushing his cheeks?

Then I listened to the music:

Accidents happen now and again, just when you least expect
Just when you think that life is okay, fate comes to collect
Accidents happen now and again, when people or trains get smart
If you don’t concentrate on the thing that you’re doing
Accidents will happen, just like that

He turned his face from the screen, blinking hard, sobbing, “Thomas….Thomas…”

Then I guessed (but haven’t seen yet to confirm) that it was a montage clip of all the spills that Thomas collects during the series’: derailments, engine bumps and shunts gone wrong, cargo spillages etc. My son was genuinely sad to see all those calamities hit Thomas at the same time; karma revisited horribly on the cheeky Number 1.

Offering sympathy and support, I calmed my son down and hit ’skip’ to move on to the next episode. Relieved, he gave me a smile and I turned around.

Both parent laughed in the front; but mine was a guilty one. Who was I to laugh at his sadness and sensitivity? Was it just plain mean? Shouldn’t I instead be proud of a son who feels so deeply, even at his tender age, for his mechanical heroes and icons? I voiced these concerns to my husband, who waved them off.

I just wish, for him, his troubles to come could all be solved as easily as pushing a ’skip’ button. But I know they won’t – and perhaps that’s where the misplaced, nervous humour came in. I was pretending for a moment.

Then the lights turned green. We took off again. Keira began complaining about something. Life took over. The moment paused, forgot.

But I didn’t.

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10 Comments on “Tears for fears”

1
Mr V (21 comments.)
April 2nd, 2008
7:57 am

“Everybody wants to rule the world…”

Oops. Sorry… the title put it in my head. It’s gonna be there all day now.

Cheers.

Mr V’s last blog post..550 Strips and March figures – School Spirit update

2
Bettina (56 comments.)
April 2nd, 2008
8:33 am

I know that guilt…………

hugs

Bettina’s last blog post..Screw Up Tuesday

3
Andrew Boyd (2 comments.)
April 2nd, 2008
11:02 am

Hi Karen,

like Bettina, I know that guilt also. My eldest is 20 yet I will never forget some of the unconsciously cruel things that happened to her as a child.

Good post.

Best regards, Andrew

Andrew Boyd’s last blog post..WordPress 2.5: Broken under OSX

4
Tracey (64 comments.)
April 2nd, 2008
2:11 pm

My girls were always the kids who couldn’t cope with your average Disney movie, because they were too sensitive, and they cried in the scary bits. I even had some parents, as they described how _their_ children were able to differentiate between stories and reality, imply that there was something wrong with my children for being hypersensitive. In my heart of hearts I was secretly proud that MY kids were able to feel for ‘others’. I don’t think that compassion is such a bad thing for kids to have – whether the ‘others’ are trains that are ‘people’… or dogs (one daughter had to leave during a Napoleon movie once!)… or whatever.

Tracey’s last blog post..I feel better now!

5
Babyamore (Trish) (60 comments.)
April 2nd, 2008
10:50 pm

what a sweet lil guy Riley is …he is obviously going to be a SNAG …
I always cried when bad things happened to my favourite characters.I hope my sons are sensitive type too…

Babyamore (Trish)’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday- want ,want, wanted !

6
Janet (200 comments.)
April 3rd, 2008
1:54 am

Both of mine get very distressed when something bad happens. They get that from me. I cry at all Disney movies (including Ratatouille, which we just got), both at the bad parts and also the happy endings. Of course, I used to cry at those folger’s commercials (or whatever it was) where the son comes home for Christmas unexpectedly. Yeah, I’m a sap.
We have the DVD player in the car too, but ours is not terribly user friendly as the controls are in the back seat with the children and not where we can see them!

Janet’s last blog post..Spring in the Woods

7
Jean-Luc Picard (279 comments.)
April 3rd, 2008
5:24 am

That sounds like a distressing video for a young child.

Jean-Luc Picard’s last blog post..Mayor Of Unimatrix Zero

8
1stopmom (1 comments.)
April 3rd, 2008
1:41 pm

Awww, sometime we remember things much longer than our kids. I love how you say “assisted parenting”. We like assisted parenting too.

1stopmom’s last blog post..Basics of blogging

9
JHS (7 comments.)
April 7th, 2008
8:06 am

Thanks for participating in this week’s Carnival of Family Life hosted by Pickel at My Two Boys. The Carnival will be live on Monday, April 7, 2008, so make sure you stop by and check out all of the other outstanding entries included in this week’s Edition!

JHS’s last blog post..Friday Fill-Ins: Volume 5

10

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