There is a not-so-quiet revolution at the moment in the Internet Realm; mothers everywhere, sick of being vilified and demoted as Citizens by some minorities, have decided to stand up and say, “I have breastfed; I am breastfeeding. I have not, I chose not to, yet I support any who are. We will be sisters together.”
I do not intend this to be a mothers-who-breastfed VS mothers-who-didn’t post because frankly, I support women in both categories. Becoming mothers is more, infinitely more, than what kind of milk your infant drinks. I know from personal experience the misery of forcing your body to do what it cannot do. This is what happens to some women. I know, and it kills them.
See this? This is 10 days after Keira was born. You can see the tension; the pain on my face. Feeding was not going well. In fact, until week 6, I was only a feed away from giving up. The formula was in the cupboard; a delicious solace. But I kept at it; my stubbornness would not budge. With aid of herbal supplements, water, faith, endurance, resolve, joy, rapture, I made it until Keira was 13 months old, when I weaned her because I was desperate for another child. The child came immediately; periodless, miraculously, I conceived immediately. My career in breastfeeding was only temporarily suspended.
Riley latched perfectly. We had none of the trials I had with Keira — no syringes stuck nervously in the corner of her mouth, seeing if she would take the expressed fluid. I suffered mastitis severely, though; 4 attacks in 3 months. He fed; he thrived. We did so for 15 months. Keira watched, curious, not knowing that any of this performed not only a survival function but, at times, a charade of sorts in wider society.
I feel we are lucky here in Australia. As a culture, I do believe we are more tolerant towards public breastfeeding than others in the world. Does that mean I’ve escaped public ire? No. I’ve been judged as I’ve raised my t-shirt to feed; and I’ve scowled back at these individuals, my teeth gnashing at their ‘right’ to judge, as they then turn away in the streets, to their own ends, and to make mine feel diminished. But I do not feel diminished.
For I have worn the scars of breastfeeding. I have the lovebites of mistaken latching, when the power of a child’s jaw surprises (and hurts!). These scars heal; as does the judgement fade. I do not breastfeed anymore: but I will fight for women who are, and do, carry one of the most perfect functions imaginable.
Go visit these women. Show your support.
Then, go leave your positive comments after watching this video.
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh, I’d forgotten about love bites. About trying to slip my pinky finger into the side of her mouth to break the seal so I could re-attach her to the right spot. Of curling my toes as she took her first few sucks on my bleeding nipple. Crying, sobbing as she screamed because neither of us knew what the hell we were doing.
I also remember the sore neck from just staring down at her perfect little face, her cheeks sucking in and out, her little fingers resting on my breast… if you can persevere, it’s worth it. But I can totally understand why it’s not for everyone.
I too went through hell and back to be able to breastfeed, and the only thing that kept me going was that despite my bleeding nipples (and bouts of mastitis too) my baby piranhas (particularly #1) were thriving. I knew mums who tried but couldn’t – their babies weren’t getting enough milk – and I also knew of dreadful things that were said to them.
My experiences thus caused me to avoid the breastfeeding associations, but I will stand here and be counted among those who demand the right for mothers to be able to feed their babies in public, and not hidden away in the likes of shopping centre toilets.
I will also stand here and say that I reckon all the palava about the ‘positioning’ is mostly a load of bollocks. You either have tough tits or you don’t. I didn’t. (Skin specialist confirmed it.. I get chafed lips. I got chafed nipples.) I fed mine till around 8 months – by then the teeth, and the ‘on, off, on, off’ of a distracted and alert baby were too much for my tender nipples.
Your photos, K, also show that breastfeeding is not about flaunting breasts and tits… which is another hot issue on the internet at the moment, with some blog hosting sites apparently removing photos of mums breastfeeding because of a little bit of flesh being shown. What breasts? one might ask, because you can see less of them than if you were in a swimming costume on the beach!
I did make sure I got a photo of me feeding each one of my bubs, but they are all pre-digital era, and I’d have to hunt through photo albums and scan them in. My all time favourite one is #1, at 2 years of age, sitting alongside me as I breastfed her baby sister. She has her top hoiked up and she is breastfeeding her teddy.
Yes, T, you’re right a lot of the furore is about the breasts and double-standards that are rife.
Oh, that reminds me, I have a few photos of Keira doing the same! Oh, well, another time, I guess
Trish – Sore neck from baby gazing? That’s a lovely picture
“I know from personal experience the misery of forcing your body to do what it cannot do. This is what happens to some women. I know, and it kills them”. Great Quote !
I have several friends experience this senario and I feel the same way.I commend your post . My heart was breaking for some of them who couldn’t.
I have been BFing my twins for 15 months and I get the stares now they aren’t little babies anymore.Even the lovely MCHN asks me how many times I BF one twin – what does it matter.? I demand feed and he likes little drinks often.
I will stand up and be counted too. It isn’t about breasts vs bottles – but while I had to express for one twin for 5 months – as he refused to BF, I was very conscious of being judged – they weren’t to know whether EBM or formula or why but I conctantly felt the pressure to explain. I was relieved the day we ditched the bottles and went straight to breast.
Trish – hey I am Trish too and I love that image of a neck sore from baby gazing.
Good for you [all] I breastfed all of mine and it was right pain, far more difficult than I was led to believe.
Best wishes
Babyamore/Trish – wow, what a legend you are!!!
Maddy – Thanks for commenting and the well wishes
You caught the first egg! That’s awesome. I had one period between pregnancies – missed the first egg, caught the second.
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