Last Friday it was haircut day. It was Riley’s first haircut, which made the occasion rather special – for me, not him. No, he spent the entire time going ballistic in my lap, a tornado of head-thrashing. Consequently, he has possibly the most uneven haircut since the Flock of Seagulls boys.

And Keira? Total opposite. Sat in the chair, knees crossed, flicking through a magazine. This girl has only just turned THREE. I was waiting for her to pipe up with the following winter fashion breakdown: “Seriously, smocks? What are they thinking? If Mischa Barton can’t pull one off without looking pregnant, what hope do the rest of us have? And don’t get me started on ankle-boots. Where’s the rest of it? Saving the leather isn’t recompense for bad taste“.